For the one :Sole & Soul

I think I might try to write something,although I'm not sure what. Been reading some old books lately and some poetry by people who could actually write. What I wouldn't be able to sit all day and string words together. Isn't it funny?
All of us setting our alarms in the morning just to go off and kill ourselves a little bit more each day.
You wait for the things you were promised to. You questioned your abilities to keep someone happy. You disappear into a fog of bitterness and drown in rage. Even after all this, it seems very natural to lean in and know how wonderful you are. Things which are distracted never strips the joy from that moment. It was all real and I knew that. It was the same one from the beginning. My little nudger, the one who loved me from the inside,too.
Perfect and lovely-which suprisingly, made it better rather than detracting.
I'd been right all along. There's no regret, its just waiting to have things done differently. Its wishing on forgotten stars to be more than this monotony.
To be, perhaps, Something grand.
But, ROMANCE is buried under the stigma of being weak for me. So I'm taking it upon myself to dig it out of its grave, and bring it back to life.
It's what I want, it's who I am.
And if it doesn't exist within, I know that sole and soul who will still cherish me. Everyone has that one for whom you can feel that your heart skips a beat, to seek out for warmth and affection...
Do people honestly believe one of these cave'dwellers is going to take place?
Life is an unjust opponent, and the most you can hope for is to change the mistakes orelse everything will leave.
I am not sure for what but, there is something, something that needs numbing. Life is too often unbearable with the people in it and too little of the time tender. Every morning  at the doorstep, it greets us as if it is some sort of a joke, as we have some sort of control, which we really don't.
You always keep the one who Hurt's you more than the one who keeps you happy. Its because the happiness they bring is more than the pain they cause.
Thier presence turns out like a moon shining in the  cloudy night. No matter what happens, as cold nd dark but they really know that deep down you're not like that.
When someone says you that, "you just pretend to show this concern towards me..."
And we don't react to it as we know the reason. Why we don't sit up with that on mind, we forgive, we let go..
Why do we do that?
There's a terribly fine line between selfishness and self preservation,same way there's a line between being human and humane, and its mostly this which destroyes us.
It's funny when we think about what love is nowadays, just putting ourselves out there to get our hearts crushed. Nah!! Not my vogue !!
But sometimes it is worth it . For there is one person who will treat our hearts as the fragile pieces of muscle in which they surely are. They will respect it, protect it  because they can wreck it.
I get to be a lot many things a liar, a hypocrite, a judgemental silence, an opinion, a doubt, a job, a quick hobby, an imaginary friend, a pillow, a remedy for pain, sometimes a cause for that too, an internal peace, an open door ;that can be closed or banged, and I even got the chance to be you.
We are just lonely souls lost between reality and dreams.
This teaches others to look beneath and to focus on what really matters.
Neither of us has an answer as to why we met when we did, when we could never realistically be together. We be steady to stay away, as you distract yourself with work, and I be ironically waiting for the sun, the rain, the moonlight and the morning fog....
When wakefulness turns to wastefullness, its time to make it clear again, the only choice we  ever have  is between growing and hurting less and to " stop looking for happiness in the same place we  lost it "
I just want to let you know that I have faith in you,
Don't give up.x